


be the sunshine you cannot see

by LailaLiquorice



Series: loved so very deeply by a chosen few [4]
Category: Six - Marlow/Moss
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Light Angst, Parrlyn being the amazing wingwomen we all need, Self-Esteem Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-12
Updated: 2019-06-12
Packaged: 2020-05-01 18:25:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,210
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19183282
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LailaLiquorice/pseuds/LailaLiquorice
Summary: When too many harsh comments finally crack the walls that Anna of Cleves has built.





	be the sunshine you cannot see

One thing Anna had always been good at was complimenting people. She’d always been able to just focus on what was good in people, be it in their appearance or their personality. She’d been good at it in her old life too, a true charmer in the ballroom and someone who everyone wanted to be around.  Nowadays it meant that she could never fail to make her fellow Queens smile through either a quick kind word or a soul-searching pep talk.

One thing Anna had never been good at was dealing with negativity. She hardly listened when it was directed at her; she was used to that, as in shamed-for-her-looks-500-years-ago-reminded-of-it-every-night used to that. What she couldn’t deal with was negativity towards her friends. That was when she would fight back, protecting her friends like a mother bear when they were broken down and building them back up again afterwards. When the other Queens enquired about her after a harsh review she’d always shrug her shoulders, shrug off those comments like water from a duck’s back, and tell them it took more than that to bring her down.

But sometimes, she was wrong about that part. Sometimes, painful words snuck through the charismatic shell she liked to hide behind and stung her hard.

It was early enough that the rest of the Queens wouldn’t get to the theatre for a little while, and Anna was sat at her desk in the dressing room with her eyes fixed to her phone screen. The voice of logic in her head was screaming at her to stop scrolling, to stop falling further down that rabbit hole when they had a show to do that evening and she would only put herself in the wrong mindset if she kept looking. But her thumb was on autopilot as it kept on scrolling, the kind comments blurring to leave only sharp words of hate behind. If it weren’t for the miracle of waterproof mascara then there would be thick black trails carved into her cheeks from the silent tears that fell without her even noticing them.

She could have been sat there minutes or days for all she knew. The sound of the dressing door opening jolted her back to life, practically throwing her phone onto the desk and pretending to be hunting through her makeup box for something as Anne walked in, shouting a loud greeting that Anna returned in what she hoped was a normal voice.

The sound of Anne cluttering around her desk on the opposite side of the room made Anna want to shrink even further within herself, her usual excitement when the other Queens came in dulled by panic that someone could see her upset. “Hey babe, you got any spare hair grips? Managed to leave mine at home and don’t want to wait for Jane to bring them,” Anne said, explaining why she’d been tearing the dressing room apart.

“Yeah, I’ve got some,” she replied without looking over her shoulder, attempting to sound casual in the hope that Anne wouldn’t notice anything was wrong.

“Ugh you’re a beaut,” Anne groaned. Anna flinched at her word choice, the mention of her appearance immediately bringing her mind back to what she’d been reading on her phone screen even though it was said with kindness. She put her box of hair grips on her desk as Anne walked over, wary to hand them to her directly in case she caught sight of her ruined makeup.

Anne grabbed the box but paused without going back to her side of the dressing room, making Anna freeze in case she’d noticed anything. Her heart was hammering at the close call as Anne turned to fiddle with the costume rail in the middle of the room, asking “D’you know what time it is?”

Unwilling to pick up her phone again, Anna made the mistake of looking up towards the clock and directly into Anne’s eyes.

“Oh hun,” she sighed, expression softening as she pulled Aragon’s chair up to sit down next to her. “You wanna tell me what’s wrong?”

Hastily wiping a hand underneath her eye, Anna shook her head. “Nothing’s wrong,” she said with a sniffle, averting her gaze from Anne’s intent look to stare at the desk in front of her. She was careful to avoid glancing straight in front of her; even looking at Anne was preferable to looking in the mirror. “Nothing’s happened. I’m fine.”

Anne was still for a moment, before she got out of her chair without a word and marched out of the dressing room. The knot of worry in Anna’s stomach only tightened when she heard two sets of footsteps echoing down the corridor and Anne’s shout of “I’ve brought the cavalry!” as she flung the door open again.

A flash of blue appeared in Anna’s peripheral vision before she heard the gentle voice of Cathy Parr. “Hey Anna,” she said, sitting down in Aragon’s chair while Anne stood behind her. “Please tell us what’s happened. We want to help and we can’t do that if we don’t know what’s wrong.”

Anna barked out a laugh. “You can’t fix this,” she said, gesturing roughly to her face.

“There’s nothing there that needs fixing,” Cathy said, a note of surprise in her voice that only made Anna feel like laughing again. “You don’t really believe that.”

“Well there’s plenty of people who do,” Anna huffed, unlocking her phone and shoving it towards Cathy and Anne. She knew she wasn’t being fair by taking her frustration out on them, but in the moment she was too wrapped up in self-loathing to care about anyone else.

There was silence for a moment as Anne scrolled down Anna’s phone screen, before Cathy shut the screen off and placed it face down on the desk. “Those people don’t know the you that we know,” Cathy said, “I doubt many of them have even seen the show. They take any opportunity to send hate to someone who they loathe for doing better than them. They feel safe hiding behind their computer screens and are too cowardly to do anything about it in real life.” A note of bitterness crept into her voice as she finished; while Cathy could spend days lost in the internet researching seven subjects at once, she could spend just as long ranting quietly about the lack of manners that social media made commonplace.

But as much as Anna knew Cathy’s comments were true, they weren’t hitting the nail on the head though. “I know I’m beautiful on the inside. But it’s the outside that people care about, isn’t it? When you’re Queen and when you’re an actress, everyone’s always dissecting what your face and body look like,” she said, voice hitching a little as fresh tears rolled down her cheeks.

“Anna didn’t you hear her? You’re gorgeous, babe. Honestly you are,” Anne interrupted. Anna was puzzled by the look of confusion on her face as if she was stating the obvious to her.

“What they think about doesn’t matter. What matters is what you think,” Cathy pushed on, glancing at Anne before looking at Anna carefully. “Do you like what you look like?”

Anna paused at the question, slowly finding the courage to look up and face her reflection. At first all she saw was the ruined makeup, patchy foundation and smudged foundation from where she’d cried, but after a few moments she managed to look closer. The shade of her skin, the shape of her cheekbones, the colour of her eyes. “Sometimes,” she said eventually, the word sounding almost like a shameful confession.

“And that’s enough,” said Cathy, she and Anne both smiling as they looked at her. Glancing at her watch she added “Will you let me do your makeup tonight?”

The offer was surprising, but the voice in the back of her head asking why Cathy would want to stare at her naked face was hushed by gratitude at her offer. She’d only had her makeup done a handful of times since they were reincarnated and it never failed to make her feel beautiful.

Cathy took her smile as a yes, fetching a few products from her own makeup bag before wiping off the remnants of Anna’s makeup to start over fresh. Anne hung her jacket over the mirror so that Anna couldn’t accidentally catch sight of herself before Cathy was done, though she couldn’t help but feel uncomfortable at having no makeup on at all in front of the other two girls for the first time ever. But Anne’s never-ending stream of uplifting comments from her position hanging over Cathy’s shoulder was enough to break down that fear a little.

Once Cathy had blended her foundation she picked up the concealer stick, but only looked at it for a moment before putting it down again and rummaging around for her setting powder. “Don’t you need that?” she couldn’t help but ask, internally rattling off the list of things that she usually covered over with it.

“Nope,” Cathy said, meeting Anna’s gaze for a split second before making a start with the powder. “The only person who needs copious amounts of concealer in this building is me so that I actually look half awake.” Anna smirked at that; Cathy’s raccoon eyes were a common sight first thing in the morning when she would trail down to the kitchen for her necessary coffee.

“What colour eyeshadow are you thinking?” Anne asked Cathy as she picked up the palette, scrutinising the colours carefully before pointing to one without a word. Cathy hummed in apparent agreement, and Anna trusted them both enough to close her eyes and let them carry on without her knowing.

She was midway through having her eyeliner applied when the dressing room door opened, but she didn’t have to guess who had entered as Anne’s shout of “Alright Aragon?” made it clear within seconds.

“Evening everybody,” Aragon said, and when Anna was allowed to open her eyes she was relieved to see her looking amused rather than annoyed at Cathy and Anne having stolen her chair. “Are we all doing each other’s makeup tonight?”

“Nah, it’s just taking three people to make me look presentable right now,” Anna joked.

Her poking fun at herself only earned her a disapproving frown from Cathy and a flick on the hand from Anne. “Oi you, or I’ll keep telling you you’re a beaut ‘til our dying days," Anne retorted.

Privately Anna thought that she probably wouldn’t believe her even if she did, but she didn’t voice that one aloud since she knew they’d all jump in to disprove her. Becoming desensitised to negative comments had the unfortunate side effect that positive comments on her looks had almost lost their impact too, meaning she was left in an even worse place when the hate did end up getting on top of her.

After pausing for a minute while Cathy shifted into Anne’s chair to let Aragon sit down, she finished off Anna’s makeup and leaned back with a satisfied smile. “What do you think?” she asked Anne first, who was still leaning over the back of the chair with her arms around Cathy’s neck.

“Looks gorgeous,” Anne said, grinning at Cathy before turning her infectious smile towards Anna. “You ready to see it?”

Anna nodded apprehensively, looking towards the mirror as Anne pulled her jacket down with a flourish. Immediately her eyebrows raised in surprise at what she saw. Cathy had done her eye makeup slightly different than usual, more like a mix between her own and Anne’s than what Anna usually wore. Cathy's dusky pink eyeshadow glimmered like stardust against her skin and the hints of red matched her costume just like Anne’s green glitter did, and completed by her usual dark red lipstick it just looked like a new take on her own make up rather than a copy of anyone else’s.

“She’s smiling!” Anne squealed, and Anna laughed upon realising she had started beaming without even realising it. “Go on, what do you think!”

Tearing her gaze away from the mirror, there was no doubt in Anna’s voice as she said “I think I look banging!”

Anne and Cathy both cheered, Aragon’s laughter in the background completing the happy scene. “Now will you believe me when I say you look amazing?” Anne asked, looking at her through intense wide eyes.

“And that’s with or without the makeup,” added Cathy quietly.

Anna fell quiet for a moment then, glancing back towards the mirror again. “I believe it a little more,” she said. She could have lied and pretended that her self-confidence had returned in full force, but after what they’d both done for her she didn’t think they deserved the disservice of being lied to. She could let herself be truthful with them for a change.

Anne grinned, skirting around Cathy’s chair to squeeze Anna into a tight hug instead. “And that, ladies and gents, is what we call a good start.”

She laughed as she returned the warm embrace. Maybe self-confidence would always feel like walking a tightrope to her, but at least in this life she had friends to give her a helping hand whenever she needed one.

**Author's Note:**

> I struggled thinking of an idea for this one at first since Anna just is so self confident (and maybe I'm projecting Alexia's bubbly personality onto her too), but even she deserves to be looked after occasionally. Ended up sticking to the roots with her known insecurity, I can't imagine social media has made it any easier compared to tudor times. Bonus Anne and Cathy being the supportive duo that everyone needs, and I have fallen down the Parrlyn hole too hard so I couldn't resist having these two with their lack of personal space around each other. Soft Anne and Motherly Cathy give me life.
> 
> I'm lailaliquorice on tumblr :)


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